I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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