is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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