I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
