you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
