like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
