S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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