I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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