That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize