Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he was CRYING into my vagina
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
