if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Randomize
