He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
whose parrot is this?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
