a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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