her vagine was all disorganized.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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