normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
