I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
