Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
