When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
