You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
