Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
