i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
