How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
