I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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