Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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