You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
