Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
