Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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