10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
