How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
