Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
