I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
