i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
