I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
