the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize