I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
