Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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