even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
