Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
