My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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