I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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