Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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