He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
