Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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