its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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