i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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