I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
