I skipped work to stalk him.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
