Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize