if you like me you must not know who I am
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
