bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
