I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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