We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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