I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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