I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
