During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Semen is not good for contacts.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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