I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
