U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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