so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
