Non-Jews are for practice
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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