And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
