I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
