i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
