Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Drake has all the answers
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
