can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
