I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
