why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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