Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
