the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize