there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
